On resumes

Apr. 19th, 2011 11:30 am
sarasvati: A white lotus flower floating on water. (Default)
[personal profile] sarasvati
Last night, I was discussing the issue of resumes with Daniel, how we both need to redo ours and beef them up a little bit. I mentioned that I already had sort of beefed mine up, claiming something that while is technically true, it can be inferred that I did way more than I actually did. I said I assisted with organizing fun events and activities for employees. In reality, I walked around and asked everyone if they wanted to do a Secret Santa swap.

Daniel said that's not enough, at least according to what he's heard from people who've actually attended courses on how to make your resume look awesome. The trick today, apparently, is to enhance your resume to make it look like you've done more than you have. But everybody knows this. So if you're completely honest on your resume, people assume that's actually the beefed up version and that you're actually sub-par in reality. If you'd really done all you've claimed, you'd have claimed you did more.

Yeah, that hurts my brain to figure out too. It's the sort of twisty turnly logic that corporations love, I guess.

So it got me thinking: what could I technically claim on my resume if people assume that I'm going to beef up my skills and experience? I made a list. In bold is what I can claim. In italics is what really happened.

I have participated in pet rescue and am a green activist.
Someone couldn't take care of their pet rat and so I offered to give him a home. A coworker of Daniel's could keep their pet bird and so we took him in too. I recycle and try not to waste food.

I have training experience.
My sup asked me to coach some agents who weren't quite getting stuff. This lasted for two days, though mostly because my sup forgot to keep scheduling those agents time off the phone to be retrained.

I have helped to teach and train the mentally challenged.
I wouldn't give up on trying to help a women with learning disabilities when we both had the same temp job and everyone else told me to leave her alone. It didn't make a bit of difference in the end. I guess it might also count that I once helped as a mediator between one girl who was autistic and a friend of hers who just wasn't quite getting that mindset. On a message board. Does that make me a social worker?

I'm an experienced freelance writer.
I wrote for HubPages. I keep a blog. I do the book reviews.

I'm a published knitwear designer.
I designed and submitted 2 free patterns to an online catalogue. People liked them, but the patterns never got famous or anything.

I have experience in journalism.
I interviewed an author for my bookblog. And that interview was me sending them questions by email and reposting her answers.

Singer, actor, dancer.
High school and church choirs and musicals, mostly, as well as a brief stint doing a 24-hours-from-conception-to-performance improv skit a few years ago. I still sing at home, mostly when I'm alone, though. I guess DDR could also count. :p

My photography work has appeared in publications.
Those publications were my freelance articles on HubPages.

Proficient with various forms of social media and marketing.
I use Facebook and Twitter to promote by bookblog. Oooooh!

Languages spoken? French, Japanese, Mandarin, and Sindarin.
Yeah, I think this one goes without saying. Though claiming Mandarin as a spoken language could backfire on me in this city, since we have a good amount of Chinese people who come here for university. Same thing with French, because while I can muddle my way through it, Canada's official bilingual and I could land a job that actually requires me to speak it a lot. I figure anyone who knows what Sindarin is will be amused that I claim it, and anyone who doesn't know will probably keep silent to avoid looking stupid.

And this is the stuff that people want to see on a 27 year old's resume. Half of this stuff wouldn't be of any use in any job I could get, but simply claiming it would help get me a job, because it makes me look awesome, even if it's ne.arly all exaggeration


sarasvati: A white lotus flower floating on water. (Default)

August 2011

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