Hi! I'm here from the Latest Things page, and I wanted to comment on this as I myself am transgendered.
You're far from the only one who considers themselves to be without gender. Although I myself do not (I'm a transgendered woman), I believe the term in the transgender community for how you feel is "neutrois" (though if I'm incorrect, please let me know), and I have at least two friends who fall into that category, maybe more.
I personally believe it to be just as valid as any other gender expression - which isn't to say I believe neutrois is a gender; it's obviously not, by definition. In my view, "gender expression" can include no gender, but of course I don't speak for everybody.
In my view, there are three different and completely separate things that come into any discussion involving this sort of thing - physical sex, gender, and gender roles. The last of these, gender roles, is the only one to be culture-dependent, and as such, what they are depends on who you ask. In Western society, gender roles are binary - we don't have any words other than "masculine" and "feminine" to describe gender roles. However, neither physical sex nor gender are binary - and gender might not even exist. (Whether physical sex can be nonexistent is a matter of debate; the definition I normally use for simplicity is that it's based on your chromosomes, although the actual topic isn't as simple as that.)
Anyway, my point is that I think your story is worth more than you think. It is, sadly, true that a lot of people won't understand; I can't imagine how infuriating it must be for you when people use "she" or "he" to describe you. And of course you already mentioned that although society is opening its mind to transgendered people, it's still in a binary fashion. But I did want you to know that I, at least, know that you exist. I'm also in a few communities, both inside and outside of DW, that also know this. If you'd like, I can give details.
I'm on your side, though, and I hope we can help spread the knowledge that, yes, agendered/neutrois people *do* exist.
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regna
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-26 08:11 pm (UTC)You're far from the only one who considers themselves to be without gender. Although I myself do not (I'm a transgendered woman), I believe the term in the transgender community for how you feel is "neutrois" (though if I'm incorrect, please let me know), and I have at least two friends who fall into that category, maybe more.
I personally believe it to be just as valid as any other gender expression - which isn't to say I believe neutrois is a gender; it's obviously not, by definition. In my view, "gender expression" can include no gender, but of course I don't speak for everybody.
In my view, there are three different and completely separate things that come into any discussion involving this sort of thing - physical sex, gender, and gender roles. The last of these, gender roles, is the only one to be culture-dependent, and as such, what they are depends on who you ask. In Western society, gender roles are binary - we don't have any words other than "masculine" and "feminine" to describe gender roles. However, neither physical sex nor gender are binary - and gender might not even exist. (Whether physical sex can be nonexistent is a matter of debate; the definition I normally use for simplicity is that it's based on your chromosomes, although the actual topic isn't as simple as that.)
Anyway, my point is that I think your story is worth more than you think. It is, sadly, true that a lot of people won't understand; I can't imagine how infuriating it must be for you when people use "she" or "he" to describe you. And of course you already mentioned that although society is opening its mind to transgendered people, it's still in a binary fashion. But I did want you to know that I, at least, know that you exist. I'm also in a few communities, both inside and outside of DW, that also know this. If you'd like, I can give details.
I'm on your side, though, and I hope we can help spread the knowledge that, yes, agendered/neutrois people *do* exist.