I CAN have nice things!
May. 8th, 2010 08:22 pmThis post has been a long time in coming, especially since ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
torachan's post a while ago regarding the view of poor people can't have nice things.
I am poor. There are no two ways about it. I've been steadily unemployed since last September, my EI gives me $36 a week, and Rei has been taking care of the rent and bills more often than I feel comfortable admitting. Even when I had a job and we were making ends meet with some money to spare, we weren't what people would call rich. Our combined income dictates that we live in a not-so-great area of the city in a not-so-great apartment, because we couldn't afford much else.
Recently, I had a bit more money in my bank account than I had anticipated, and since my financial obligations had been taken care of this month, I decided to give myself a little treat in the form of SMT: Strange Journey. I had debated whether or not to get it, using my mother as a sounding board. "I could buy it," I said, "since it isn't that expensive, and I really do want it, but part of me thinks that I should be more responsible and save it instead."
"Yeah," she countered jokingly, "but since when have you ever been responsible with your money?"
This was painful coming from a woman whose debt is over $20000 from a year's worth of personal spending, who stayed in hotels to avoid roommates who didn't wash dishes quickly enough, who would rather wear a t-shirt outside in midwinter in order to look "cool" and then get so sick she'd have to take time off work.
I may not be the most responsible with my money, but I can say with certainty that I'm doing better than she is.
The problem was that it sent me into a guilt spiral. I don't have much money, so any buying of nonessential items just made me seem frivolous and selfish. Why buy a video game when I could, for example, buy groceries instead? True, we didn't need any groceries, but shouldn't I have bought them anyway? It would be more responsible.
Or a chocolate bar. If I find enough loose change in my pocket, should I avoid buying a Twix because I don't have much income?
The answer? No, I shouldn't avoid it. If my obligations are met, then where is the harm in spending some coins on a treat after a bad day? Or a video game that you know will keep you amused for hours! (I wrote an article a few months ago on video games as a frugal form of entertainment, which breaks things down by cost of game and hours of gameplay as well as replay value, which sometimes works out to the cost of video game entertainment being only pennies per hour.)
There is a pervasive attitude that poor people can't have nice things, can't have a few luxuries, and if they do have such things then often others blame them for being poor. That family has luxuries, thus they probably went into debt buying them all and know they're suffering for it.
And sure, for some people, it does happen that way. But not for everyone. But just because a person is on a budget doesn't mean they can't enjoy some new and awesome things now and then. It doesn't mean that they don't deserve the reat of a meal out sometimes. More than people like it admit, it's mostly a matter of knowing how to budget.
Being poor doesn't mean that you have to eat crap. Two whole roasted chickens, some potatoes, carrots, and bread, made for a lot of meals. Chicken breast sandwiches for a few days, and then the bones and skin got boiled for stock, the leftover meat and vegetables added, and there's still soup left over. $30 of food has keep us fed for the better part of a week now. Sure, it's not the best variety, but it's fairly healthy, delicious, and frugal.
I once heard someone say that nobody lives within their means anymore. I disagree. I think that thanks to credit cards, most people live somewhat outside their means, but there are people that know how to make a lot out of a little, and live well for it.
Rei and I now have about 7 new books each thanks to the library's book sale uptown, and 10 more back issues of National Geographic. The grand total for this haul? $16.25. And 1/3 of those books are hardcovers in excellent condition, too. Should we have not bothered getting ourselves good entertainment, despite the fact that everything we bought was a bargain and we had the spare money?
We can have nice things. We can enjoy life. We can be poor and have fun without having a lot of money! And I resent the implication that just because we're poor we should be mopey and drab about it.
As I sit here, Rei is playing Persona 3, and when I'm done messing around online, I'll probably play more of Strange Journey or read one of the books I got yesterday. I may not have much money, and I may desperately need a job in order to take the financial burden from Rei's shoulders, but since losing my job, my lifestyle has not changed much. I'm a little more careful with the food budget and more likely to consider whether or not I reall need some new craft supplies (the answer is no, because I already have an impressive stash of pattern books, fabric, and yarn), but I still read as much, I still play video games as much, and I go out for walks more often. I still enjoy life, and I enjoy my luxuries, and I like to think that perhaps I appreciate my luxuries a bit more than the rich do because I know more of what it's like to go without them. I have lived in "poor guilt" for a while. It sucked. I became a lot happier when I understood that life didn't end just because the cash flow trickled off, and I still had as much happiness as I ever did.
So no more poor guilt. No more spending guilt. No more implications that because I'm poor I clearly must have no idea how to handle my money. I don't deserve it. Nobody does. I'm getting by because I'm learning how to make ends meet on a tight budget. I'm learning to cook, and to cook frugally. I'm learning to appreciate more of the free things in life. I do not need to feel guilty over being happy while still being broke.
Thank you, and good night
torachan's post a while ago regarding the view of poor people can't have nice things.I am poor. There are no two ways about it. I've been steadily unemployed since last September, my EI gives me $36 a week, and Rei has been taking care of the rent and bills more often than I feel comfortable admitting. Even when I had a job and we were making ends meet with some money to spare, we weren't what people would call rich. Our combined income dictates that we live in a not-so-great area of the city in a not-so-great apartment, because we couldn't afford much else.
Recently, I had a bit more money in my bank account than I had anticipated, and since my financial obligations had been taken care of this month, I decided to give myself a little treat in the form of SMT: Strange Journey. I had debated whether or not to get it, using my mother as a sounding board. "I could buy it," I said, "since it isn't that expensive, and I really do want it, but part of me thinks that I should be more responsible and save it instead."
"Yeah," she countered jokingly, "but since when have you ever been responsible with your money?"
This was painful coming from a woman whose debt is over $20000 from a year's worth of personal spending, who stayed in hotels to avoid roommates who didn't wash dishes quickly enough, who would rather wear a t-shirt outside in midwinter in order to look "cool" and then get so sick she'd have to take time off work.
I may not be the most responsible with my money, but I can say with certainty that I'm doing better than she is.
The problem was that it sent me into a guilt spiral. I don't have much money, so any buying of nonessential items just made me seem frivolous and selfish. Why buy a video game when I could, for example, buy groceries instead? True, we didn't need any groceries, but shouldn't I have bought them anyway? It would be more responsible.
Or a chocolate bar. If I find enough loose change in my pocket, should I avoid buying a Twix because I don't have much income?
The answer? No, I shouldn't avoid it. If my obligations are met, then where is the harm in spending some coins on a treat after a bad day? Or a video game that you know will keep you amused for hours! (I wrote an article a few months ago on video games as a frugal form of entertainment, which breaks things down by cost of game and hours of gameplay as well as replay value, which sometimes works out to the cost of video game entertainment being only pennies per hour.)
There is a pervasive attitude that poor people can't have nice things, can't have a few luxuries, and if they do have such things then often others blame them for being poor. That family has luxuries, thus they probably went into debt buying them all and know they're suffering for it.
And sure, for some people, it does happen that way. But not for everyone. But just because a person is on a budget doesn't mean they can't enjoy some new and awesome things now and then. It doesn't mean that they don't deserve the reat of a meal out sometimes. More than people like it admit, it's mostly a matter of knowing how to budget.
Being poor doesn't mean that you have to eat crap. Two whole roasted chickens, some potatoes, carrots, and bread, made for a lot of meals. Chicken breast sandwiches for a few days, and then the bones and skin got boiled for stock, the leftover meat and vegetables added, and there's still soup left over. $30 of food has keep us fed for the better part of a week now. Sure, it's not the best variety, but it's fairly healthy, delicious, and frugal.
I once heard someone say that nobody lives within their means anymore. I disagree. I think that thanks to credit cards, most people live somewhat outside their means, but there are people that know how to make a lot out of a little, and live well for it.
Rei and I now have about 7 new books each thanks to the library's book sale uptown, and 10 more back issues of National Geographic. The grand total for this haul? $16.25. And 1/3 of those books are hardcovers in excellent condition, too. Should we have not bothered getting ourselves good entertainment, despite the fact that everything we bought was a bargain and we had the spare money?
We can have nice things. We can enjoy life. We can be poor and have fun without having a lot of money! And I resent the implication that just because we're poor we should be mopey and drab about it.
As I sit here, Rei is playing Persona 3, and when I'm done messing around online, I'll probably play more of Strange Journey or read one of the books I got yesterday. I may not have much money, and I may desperately need a job in order to take the financial burden from Rei's shoulders, but since losing my job, my lifestyle has not changed much. I'm a little more careful with the food budget and more likely to consider whether or not I reall need some new craft supplies (the answer is no, because I already have an impressive stash of pattern books, fabric, and yarn), but I still read as much, I still play video games as much, and I go out for walks more often. I still enjoy life, and I enjoy my luxuries, and I like to think that perhaps I appreciate my luxuries a bit more than the rich do because I know more of what it's like to go without them. I have lived in "poor guilt" for a while. It sucked. I became a lot happier when I understood that life didn't end just because the cash flow trickled off, and I still had as much happiness as I ever did.
So no more poor guilt. No more spending guilt. No more implications that because I'm poor I clearly must have no idea how to handle my money. I don't deserve it. Nobody does. I'm getting by because I'm learning how to make ends meet on a tight budget. I'm learning to cook, and to cook frugally. I'm learning to appreciate more of the free things in life. I do not need to feel guilty over being happy while still being broke.
Thank you, and good night