sarasvati: A white lotus flower floating on water. (Default)
Sarasvati ([personal profile] sarasvati) wrote2011-04-26 01:27 pm

Blah, I say.

Today isn't a bad pain day so much as a bad strength day. I woke up feeling my joints kind of stiff and sore, and the muscles in my legs feeling wobbly. It takes far longer than it should to get from the living room to the kitchen or dining room, because I've got to step carefully and stay close to walls. Haven't fallen yet, and I don't think I will or anything, but it's easier when I can have a hand on the wall to push myself along a little bit.

Gods, when exactly did my life go to pot? I actually thought I was getting better. For a couple of weeks, I had more strength in my legs and I though I was coming out the other side of... whatever the hell's causing these problems. Stress or illness or whatever. But then today hits and it's hard to walk again and I do not relish the thought of going to work tonight when I can only move slowly.

Thankfully I'll be sitting a lot, but still, this is a pain to go through at all.

I don't want to miss a day at work. Sure, Friday was a holiday and so I can, in theory, take a day off this week and still not suffer from loss of pay. On the other hand, I'm in training this week, and even though it's easy stuff, I doubt they'll look kindly on me for taking a day off during it.

Also, I can't rely on them to pay me properly at all. 2 paycheques ago, I was missing 16 hours. I reported it to a sup, who said that it should be fixed on my next paycheque, which it wasn't because apparently she didn't actually do anything about it. Someone else is investigating it now, and I swear to fuck if they tell me to wait until my next paycheque I'll tell them where they can shove it. Legally they have 7 days to fix pay fuck-ups before I'm allowed to march in there and demand they cut me a cheque right then. That $100 would go a long way to, oh, say, buying groceries.

But my point is that even with the holiday pay, knowing my luck they'll forget to add it on if I take a day off this week, and then I'll be out a day's pay and have to wait longer to get yet another problem fixed, and I can't do that. I can't trust them to pay me properly anymore, I can't calculate ahead of time how much I'm going to get and how much of anything I can afford, and so I certainly can't afford to be slack and actually let myself rest and hopefully recover.

Probably wouldn't recover anyway, not in any meaningful way. I may as well hobble to work and do what I can.

Damn, do I ever need a work-from-home job at this rate. Seriously, can't I be paid more for doing book reviews? Eh, that's not feasible anyway. To make what I'm making now, I'd have to be paid about $50 per review and read 5-6 books a week. Doable if that's my full-time job, but nobody pays that much for a review unless they're paying for a guaranteed positive review, and I'm not going to compromise my integrity for it. Besides, they can get positive reviews for free from just about anyone else. And I'm certainly not pulling in $50 a day from ad revenue, that's for damn sure!

Shame. But them's the breaks.