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[personal profile] sarasvati
Panic attack 1, yesterday, made me leave work.

Panic attack 2, today, drove me to the doctor, because I just can't fucking take this anymore.

I'm now back on antidepressants and out of work until Monday. And my doctor, because he's not a moron, knows my family history well enough to ask me when the last time I had my thyroid checked was. My father's thyroid is dead, and that can be hereditary, so it's worth checking. He also wants a CBC, as well as tests for liver and kidney function. Far more than Dr. Fuckwad did when I went to her with depressive behaviour, that's for sure.

Makes me wonder if my thyroid really has been declining for years. Last time I had it tested was with Dr. Fuckwad, and when I asked her the results, she glanced at them, said they were fine, and then when I asked what the next step was (I was seeing her about fatigue issues at the time), couldn't even remember why she'd sent me for tests in the first place. For all I know, my thyroid was starting to decline then and she didn't catch it. Thankfully, my current doctor is kind of awesome. I've only seen him twice, but I like him. Competant, and knows enough not to talk down to patients when it becomes obvious that they know some of what they're talking about when describing symptoms and potential treatments.

Not exactly looking forward to starting citalopram again, but if it stops my mood swings and panic attacks, I'll do it. Most of my problems with life right now aren't things that will go away with meds. Meds won't fix the pay issues at work, or stop people from treating me like shit, or get me a new job. But they will help me deal with my reactions to those things, which I know are off and have been off for a long time. I guess there's an upside to having done depression treatment before. I'm not naive enough to expect what won't happen.

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sarasvati: A white lotus flower floating on water. (Default)
Sarasvati

August 2011

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