Sep. 3rd, 2010

sarasvati: A white lotus flower floating on water. (Default)
Today marks my year-and-a-day since I last had steady employment. It was September 2nd, 2009, when I came home from the ANE to find out that I, and the rest of my coworkers, no longer had jobs. In the time since then, I've had a month and a half of paid work, countless interviews, far more resumes sent off with no interviews whatsoever, and a buttload of self-esteem problems that come from being constantly rejected for jobs that half-trained monkeys can do.

I'd actually have a job by now if it wasn't for the company requiring a piece of ID that they have no reason to require. My SIN card I can understand, but they also claim that because I'm not a Canadian citizen, I need to show them my PR card, which I don't have. Why don't I have it? Aside from the fact that there's a 4-6 month waiting list and it costs $50 I can't afford, the Permanent Resident card shows that I'm allowed back into Canada if I travel outside the country on my British passport. But the company that wanted to hire me claims that it proves to them that I'm eligible to work in Canada (no, that's what my SIN card is for), and they won't hire me without it.

That ends that.

I am still waiting on the money that's owed to me by the dead company. They drag their feet, lie, delay, lie, and delay more. The owners both have steady employment again now. I don't think they give a rat's ass about anyone other than themselves. It burns me up that what they did is technically not illegal, even if it is highly unethical and I think they should both be exposed for the scumbags they are.

My health has been both improving and deteriorating. I no longer have quite as many stomach problems as I did at the beginning of the year, though that isn't to say I have none. I still have to be very careful about what I eat. Not too much processed flour stuff. No potato ships before bed. Not too much red meat. No acidic stuff in the mornings. No anything in the mornings, really, unless that "morning feeling" has passed. I still have the gastro appointment in October, though, and hopefully that will clear a few last things up.

On the other hand, I've been more unsteady on my feet lately, falling over and tripping and getting dizzy enough to swerve in the middle of the street. It could just be a lousy reaction to the heat wave we've been having, since I've never tolerated the heat well, but this stuff predated the heat wave. It was only a month or so ago that I choked on liquid twice in three days, though I've been careful since. Could be a combination of a lot of factors, one of which is my stress level. That's been noticably high again, as evidenced by the fact that my Tourette's tics have come back. Not just head tics, but more verbal ones, and I haven't gone through echolalia since I was a kid, but here I am now, sometimes finding myself violently blurting out what somebody near me just finished saying.

I'm keeping an eye on everything. Could be nothing, could be something, but it's disruptive nevertheless. Even if it's just the heat and stress getting to me, I have to walk slower and more carefully now to avoid swaying and stumbling, and that's a pain when half of my friends are fast walkers.

I swear, my bookblog is one of the only things keeping me sane these days. At least when I'm reading books and writing reviews, I feel productive. Shame I don't get paid for it, though. Even $10 a review would still give me about a 40% boost to my monthly income right now. Kind of sad, that, when you consider that I've been rather slack about it all and I'm only reviewing about 5-6 books a month. Honestly, if I devoted 40 hours a week to reading and reviewing, I could probably manage 8-10 a month. But since I've been trying to get out for walks every day, have been sending out resumes and doing the occasional interview, have been doing more cooking and cleaning, and still going to the gym with my mother, as well as other incidentals that crop up here and there, it doesn't leave much time in which to just sit down with a book and do nothing but read for hours on end. And in this heat, it's hard to find the motivation to do anything at all sometimes!

Suppose I ought to sign off now. The tail end of Hurrican Earl should be here some time tonight, lasting into tomorrow, which will be nice since it'll cool everything down, but will also mean I'm trapped inside for most, if not all, of tomorrow, and I want to get some fresh air now before the rains hit.

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sarasvati: A white lotus flower floating on water. (Default)
Sarasvati

August 2011

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